Playing House
by Wreckless Righter
Summary: AU. They've spent centuries running from their enemies and their emotions, but it's finally their turn. And even though their relationship might be a bit toxic, the bitter taste of poison is better than an eternity of loneliness. So what happens now? With Elijah running his underground business, Katherine decides to pursue modeling. After all, vanity was always her strong suit.
1. The Prologue

**"Playing House"  
><strong>by Wreckless Righter  
><em>(Beta'd by Katie because she basically helped write this)<em>

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

If you follow me on tumblr (strongbeautifulfulloflight) you'll already know that this fic is based on an RP that me and my friend Katie (baskingintheinsanity) began almost a year ago. I/we decided to turn it into an actual fic because it just got too good not to share. So hopefully you'll love it as much as I/we do. For the record, this is, for the most part, a crack/AU fic with some references to TVD mythology and some new mythology we created. It is primarily Kalijah based, however there may or may not be cameos from other characters (some OC) and ships. I only wrote the prologue in 1st person because it worked best, but the rest of the story will be in 3rd person.

Feedback is most certainly welcome and suggestions will be taken into consideration. Hope you enjoy! :)

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><p><span>PROLOGUE - Katherine's POV<span>

Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in. Let me guess. You want to know the story. How _did_ little ol' Katherine Pierce manage to escape death and get her happily ever after with a certain precocious and exceptionally well dressed Original vampire that could and would kill her if he didn't love her so damn much? Well guess what? It's not that happy and it's not ever after. There's no such thing. And the sooner you grasp that concept, the sooner you'll get on with your life.

But…I'm in a pretty good mood these days. So fine. I'll _humor_ you.

I'm not going to go into the gruesome details of being abandoned, _cured, _killed, and rejected from Other Side. Thanks to little miss priss witch, everyone thought I was swept away into oblivion. Wrong. See, when I was whooshed up into that swirling black hole of death, I got the second chance I never deserved. I was dropped right back to the border of that soul-sucking town known as Mystic Falls. I didn't need any more of a sign to tell me to turn the other way and keep walking. There was nothing left there for me anyway. Elena Gilbert could have it.

The crappy part was I was human again. I should've been happy I was alive but, believe me, being human _sucks. _You're weak and prone to getting sick and I must have gained three pounds in one day just from eating those three square meals they tell you to be sure to eat daily! Yeah right. I wasn't about to suffer all over again so I looked for a vampire. Couldn't hurt to try right? Wrong. Turns out having your neck ripped into is a lot like…well…having your neck ripped into. Don't worry, I made sure to get a few drops of their blood in my system before they killed me. And just like that, the immortal Katherine Pierce is back in business. Thank _god. _

With Nadia gone for good, I only had one piece of unfinished business left. So. How do you get one puppy-love enamored Original to meet with you as far away as possible from the blood thirsty boohooing other? Did you miss the part where I said I was a vampire again? Or is your tiny human brain too slow to keep up? So compel compel compel and finally he meets me just outside of New Orleans. Reunited and it feels so good. And before you start to question my self worth, I had quite a few choice words for him about his recent hobbies. First of all, a werewolf? Second of all, a _pregnant _werewolf? Did I mention Klaus is the baby daddy? Well that, kiddies, is why Katherine Pierce gets second chances.

Poor Elijah was so fixated on this wannabe me but I took care of that. _No, _I didn't kill her. Wanted to. But I'm trying to be a _good _girl this time around. Relatively. Let's just say I reminded him of the major differences between the real deal and a cheap imitation. Then again, nothing really compares to sex with me, does it? Ask the Salvatores. Oops. I mean _Salvatore_.

While he squared things off with Klaus in New Orleans, I did a little recon in the real estate market. Imagine my surprise when a penthouse in New York City suddenly opened up because the woman in it turned up dead from an unspecified animal attack. Poor thing. But hey. A fifth avenue penthouse is a fifth avenue penthouse. You'd have to be stupid to pass that up. And I may be a lot of things, but stupid was never one of them. So I got us a home. Kept myself busy for the first month with redecorating. Yes. _Month. _You would think shutting your chronically menstruating brother up wouldn't take more than a day but this is Elijah we're talking about. The moral high road was a long one and I would just have to be patient. Me. Patient. If I could have staked him for that one…

So why _did_ I wait around and let him take his sweet time tying up all loose ends? Because when you're on the brink of death, there's this clarity you suddenly get and it's like you finally understand everything you did wrong and everything you should have done and could have done but didn't. And when you _do _die, and you accept nothing matters anymore, a second chance at life kind of feels like you _have_ to make it worth it. Because you could lose it again just like that. And I wasn't going to lose Elijah again. It took too long to get to this point. Too much pain and history between us to throw it away on impatience.

When I first met him in 1492, I was a naive little girl just hoping to be picked up by some prince charming who would save me from my parents. Mommy and daddy weren't thrilled with their little flower anymore once they learned she wasn't pure. In my defense, an arranged marriage was as good a reason as any to sleep with a low class boy in the village. Now that I was damaged goods, no man would want me. Except Klaus Mikaelson. But he wanted me for a very different reason. I should have seen it coming. I had a gut feeling about him and I probably could have slipped away when he wasn't looking. But something was keeping me there. Or someone, I should say. Well, actually, it was two someones: Elijah and Riley.

Riley Rodchester. She was also a captive of Klaus', destined to be sacrificed for the sake of breaking Klaus' stupid hybrid curse. If you'll recall, he needed a vampire, a doppleganger, and…a _witch. _Enter Riley. We clicked right away. She was as fiery as her curls and I loved that about her. She enjoyed being a witch and testing the limits of her power for pleasure. So when Elijah freed me I freed her and we took off into the sunset. Very Thelma and Louise. Minus the suicide. Well, hers anyway. Once she'd learned of my immortality, she didn't want to be left behind. But the devout part of her refused to betray nature by becoming a vampire, so she betrayed it another way by invoking the power of Expression. With it, she managed to create the same exact elixir that bitch Qetsiyah used on Silas to make herself immortal. She's a borderline genus and chemistry is her crack. Go figure. Since then, Riley and I have barely kept in touch. It's for our safety, I think. The spirits are pissed at her. Klaus is pissed at me. I do wonder from time to time if she had kept in contact with Kol – turns out she had a thing for him and _he _had a thing for witches. And you wondered how I kept tabs on the Originals from a distance? – but I don't mention it to Elijah because, one, I'm pretty sure they kept their rendezvous secrets, and two, just mentioning the name Kol puts Elijah in this quiet, kind of angry mood. I don't personally know if he's grieved his brother's death but I think my return has given him a little hope that others could too.

From 1492 on, Elijah and I have kind of been this on again off again thing. We'd come across each other every few decades or so and have a short fling until we got too close and I'd run away. I'm not perfect, okay? I don't do emotions well and I especially don't do the whole _talking _about emotions thing well. _Yes, _I loved him. I always have. Since the moment we met and he spoke to me like a human being, and not like an object the way Klaus did. He was the first man to make me feel like I could…be anything I wanted. Even though all I wanted was to be his. But feeling that and actually saying it to him were two _very _different concepts. And any time I felt even close to saying it, I ran away. Sometimes he'd chase me - days, even weeks. I think, secretly, a part of him liked the thrill of the chase as much as I did. But when he finally caught me, when he finally got me to say those three words to him, that's when _he _ran. And when he ran, I broke. And _that's_ how Katerina Petrova became Katherine Pierce.

Cut back to now, in our penthouse in Manhattan, together at last. Three _months_ after he told me he'd finally give us a real chance. But who am I to complain? After a month of ups, downs, loop-de-loops, and death defying plunges, Elijah and I finally have an understanding. We know our relationship is toxic. And we know this whole living together thing is strictly tentative. Klaus could show up at any second to rip my throat out or tear me limb from limb or whatever sadistic threat he likes to hurl these days. But I have a feeling he'll keep his distance for a while. I may have sent a certain perky blonde someone his way to keep him nice and distracted. Look at me playing matchmaker.

So that's the story. Elijah's still working with Klaus from afar. He's keeping business going in an underground kind of way with interspecies connections all over the world. And me? I'm waiting for this all to blow up in my face. But in the mean time, I'm thinking of pursuing modeling.


	2. Chapter 1

Aw guys, I'm so glad you loved just the little prologue. Trust me, I have so much more goodness in store for you. ;)

_Sorry I took forever to update. I have so many things on my plate I'm trying to get done, and the holiday season is not forgiving with that. Oops. But now that this chapter is up, I'm definitely gonna be posting the next one soon. And I finally came up with a cool ass plot line for this story - aside from the general Kalijah of it - so I'll be trying to work on it more. _

_Happy Reading!_

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

One month, three days, four hours and seven minutes. And they still hadn't killed each other. It was progress, but it was in no way the easiest month of cohabitation. There were senseless arguments over hair left in the shower drain, hogging of the bed covers, and his unsolicited rearrangement of her closet and drawers, but they managed to make it through it all and maintain just as much passion for each other as they'd started with, centuries ago. Things would never be fairytalesque, but they weren't after that. The simple life, they told themselves. And nothing more.

At present, Elijah was thoroughly amused watching her try to explain to him one of the century's latest concoctions in the food industry but every word she said echoed away in the distance as he got lost in his thoughts, wondering how an evening like this was even possible. Surely he didn't deserve it, and it was only a matter of time before it ended. But for now he would enjoy it, enjoy _her _and if that meant enduring her peculiar penchants for chocolatey snack foods, so be it. Unbeknownst to himself, he was smiling at her all the while.

"Are you even listening?"

He blinked, suddenly faced with the wrathful vixen he'd come to know as Katherine. He shook his head in mild amusement.

"I don't think I'll ever get used to it."

She sighed, rolling her eyes for the millionth time. "It's called a _Mallomar_, Elijah. And you eat it. Maybe if you actually _paid attention_ once in a while..."

His lips quirked up in a reverent smile. "I meant you and I living under one roof."

She slid her eyes to his with a smirk. "Should I be offended?"

"No." He sat up to pluck a marshmallow and chocolate covered cookie from the box, examining it closely. "I'm just waiting for it to backfire." He raised a brow at her challengingly.

"Okay," she sighed, smiling vindictively as she turned her whole body to face him. "Now I _am _offended."

"That must be hard for you." He grinned, popping the cookie in his mouth, humming in approval after a few seconds.

Katherine pursed her lips, trying not to grin and failing. She finally relented with a shake of her head and snatched the box off the coffee table. "So how's everything at Klaus Incorporated?"

He rolled his eyes, ignoring her ridiculing tone and answered, "I've told you countless times it has less to do with him, and more to do with the community as a whole. It is a coalition to bring peace among the supernatural species - witches, wolves, vampires, and humans."

"Right. Well. Good luck with that."

"I know you don't have much faith in it, but it _is _working. Each faction has their own concerns and their own demands. It's just a matter of compromise."

"It's one city, Elijah. It's not going to make a difference to the world."

"It will if we can create a clear and working example of what we mean to achieve. Once we sustain amicable relationships in New Orleans, we can spread to other cities, other states, even other countries. I'm in the process of creating international partnerships with a few vampires, actually."

"How, by compelling them to cooperate?" She looked up with a scrunched frown. "Isn't trust the key to making this whole thing work?"

He looked down, heat crawling up his neck creating an embarrassed pink glow. "Actually...I'm offering them an incentive."

Katherine raised her brows, almost laughing at the irony. "You're bribing people to join your little movement?"

He sighed. "I'm doing what I have to."

She eyed him suspiciously. "And what exactly are you bribing them with, Elijah?"

He narrowed his eyes, pursing his lips challengingly but her determination bested him. He let out a huff of defeat and adjusted his cufflinks. "I'm promising them a consistent flow of blood, specific to their tastes."

She lifted a brow and let out a short laugh. "You're blood trafficking? So are you some kind of vampire mob boss now?" She poked his shoulder playfully, almost flirtatious.

He rolled his eyes. "I don't appreciate being mocked, Katerina. You know that."

"I know. Doesn't mean I'll stop doing it."

"Then I suppose it's a good thing I won't be as readily available anymore for your mockery. An endeavor this ambitious takes a lot of time."

"How much time are we talking?"

"I have a meeting tomorrow morning. After that I'll find out. But it's more than likely it will take up as much time as a day job. For a little while, anyway."

She sighed dramatically. "Just when I got you back."

He smirked at her theatrics. "You'll have me every night."

She bit her lip in a grin, climbing over his lap to straddle him, sliding her hands down his chest. "Oh I know I will."

He smiled slow and coy. "Hmm," he moaned softly, running his hands up her back. "You are lethal to me, kotka."

She smirked, fixing his tie. It was his pet name for her for centuries. And while she loathed being called "cat", in any form, something about the way he spoke her native tongue always made her body clench. She sighed, pressing his tie back flat against his chest.

"So. What am _I_ supposed to do while you're out saving the world?"

"I'm sure you'll find something," he assured her. "You have many hobbies."

"I do. But nothing you'd approve of." He raised a pointed brow but she just grinned. "Just don't get any ideas about making me into some 50s housewife, waiting for you to come home with a martini and dinner on the table."

He laughed, genuinely amused. "Completely out of the question." He pursed his lips in a smirk. "I would never drink a martini."

She grinned tightly and elbowed him again, laughing when he playfully pushed her off him. With her legs still strewn across his lap, she reached across the table for the remote and turned the TV on, turning on a recorded episode of American's Next Top Model. Elijah glanced at the screen and rolled his eyes with a disgusted grunt.

"Why is it this show is always on when you turn on the TV?"

Katherine laughed, snuggling into the couch holding the remote captive to her chest. "Because, unlike you, I understand the magic of a DVR."

"Oh so you're purposely tormenting me," he teased, pinching her side.

She squealed a little, nudging her knee into his rib. "Jerk."

He laughed, rubbing his side even though it didn't hurt, more just out of reflex or learnt habit. After a couple of minutes, he shook his head in disapproval. "I don't see what you find so appealing about the vanity this program showcases. A majority of the time its focus is on the drama."

"I don't care about the drama. I like the whole process of getting that perfect shot. The styling of the hair and makeup to go with the clothes, and the elegance of their poses. The way the human body can twist and bend." Elijah paused then smiled slowly, knowingly. "And then when you see it all come together in the finished product...it's like magic. Plus they're famous solely for being attractive. Now _that _is power."

Elijah lifted a brow with a small "hm", absently stroking her legs.

Katherine glanced at him. "What?"

"Seems as if you've found your calling."

"What, analyzing Top Model?"

"No, modeling."

"Please. If I walked into that studio, they wouldn't know what hit them."

"Because they'd be dead." She kneed him again with a tight grin. "Are you going to do that every time I tease you?"

"Yes."

He raised a scolding brow and began tickling her feet. She shrieked, sitting up trying to stop him but squirmed when he pinned her down and started attacking her sides. She laughed, squirming this way and that, until he stopped when her breath ran out. She was still catching it when he stroked her cheek fondly and captured her lips in a loving kiss. She sighed through her nose and relaxed, kissing him back with matching sentiment. She smiled when he broke away, humming softly.

"You taste like chocolate," he murmured then smiled when she rolled her eyes. "I don't suppose models are allowed to eat these..._Mallomars_, are they?"

Katherine scoffed and shoved him off her, sitting back up to reach for another out of spite. He laughed and right himself, pulling her to lean against his chest as they settled back to continue watching.

"I'm serious, though. You should pursue it."

"And you should pursue folk dancing," she shot back.

His brows scrunched in a cute, bemused expression. "Why would I pursue that?"

"Never mind."

She watched the show in silence for a while, pondering for herself about a modeling career. The question wasn't could she do it. Of course she could. Katherine Pierce could do whatever she wanted. The question was, could she do it without having to compel anyone? Now _that _would be a challenge worth pursuing.

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><p>After weeks of enduring her anger, he had learned not to use an alarm loud enough to wake her. She valued her beauty sleep, much as she didn't need it. As he began fixing his tie in the mirror, he caught sight of her sleeping reflection and stopped when she turned over in his direction. Her eyes were still closed, her mouth making small movements as she settled into the new position. The covers slid down her shoulder and molded to the rest of her body like clay, accentuating every curve from hip to toes. Her curls were half behind her and half in her face and she was hugging her pillow like a security blanket.<p>

It was surreal to see her laying in his bed as he got ready for work. It was so...normal. It was a vision right out of his dreams and seeing it right there in front of him stirred something deep inside, provoking a tingling warmth throughout his chest. That she was staying put was a miracle in itself, but he wasn't sure if it was for the right reasons. Was she staying for him or was she staying for herself?

She started to stir with a soft moan and he looked back down at his tie, pulling it through the loop and tightening the knot.

"Good morning," he said softly with a small smug smirk. She moaned in response. He laughed silently to himself and turned around, fixing his cufflinks. "There is still some coffee left, if you want it."

She lifted her arm, raising her index finger in response. He smiled and walked over, leaning over her and brushing her hair back to kiss her temple.

"I'm going to work," he whispered. "Try to stay out of trouble."

He started to rise and was tugged back down by his tie. She'd latched onto it with a grin and turned onto her back, smirking up at him with half-lidded eyes. "Have a good day at work, Mr. Mikaelson."

He smiled and leaned down to kiss her lovingly. She slid her arms up over his shoulders, wrapping a leg around his waist habitually. He hummed a laugh against her lips and looked down at her leg, raising a brow back at her.

"You're going to have to let me go, Katerina."

She smiled, minx-like, running her toes down his calf. "And if I don't want to?"

"I can't miss this meeting."

She leaned up, nibbling at his earlobe, whispering, "So just be a little late..."

His eyes closed on their own, a husky breath escaping him as he started to arouse.

"Katerina..." he warned.

But her hands were already trailing down to pull his shirt out from his slacks, unbuttoning and unzipping them to reach in with a sly grin, eyes flirtatious. His eyes snapped open, darkening with lust.

"Don't," he begged, but her hand had already wrapped around him. He held his breath, steeling himself. "Katerina, I beg of you."

She looked him in the eye with a fiery determination. "Tell me you don't want me and I'll stop, Elijah."

He blinked, sighing in defeat and speaking through gritted teeth, "My desire for you has never been the issue in question."

She grinned giving him a gentle tug, watching him react. "Good."

Something inside snapped and his expression shifted to match her lust, growling. "Damn you."

He grabbed her wrist, tearing her hand away to pin it above her head with the other, holding them together with one hand. She arched her back, wrapping her legs around him as he shoved her silky nightie up her waist, flicking his eyes to hers heatedly. She grinned mischievously, grinding her hips into his and he grunted, pushing her hips back down with his as a warning.

"Don't do that."

She let her eyes vein for theatrics' sake and grinned. "Or what?" He blinked once and his eyes matched hers, fangs dropping with a hissing snarl. "Ooh. Big bad Original has come out to play. Is he gonna bite me?"

He grinned, sliding his hands down her wrists and under her arms until he gripped her sides and shoved her further back against the pillows so her groin was aligned with his line of sight. She gasped at the sudden shift, watching him with wide eyes.

"You look afraid, Katerina." He shook his head, still smiling. "You know I would never hurt you."

Without a second glance he ducked his head and pierced her thigh, dangerously close to where she'd really wanted him. He growled against her skin, the scent of her arousal hardening him even more. Katherine tossed her head back with a soft cry, tugging on the sheets as she writhed, blood dripping down her leg, and in between. Before she could get used to the sensation, he withdrew his fangs and leaned up to kiss her again. He hummed onto her lips, turned on by her tasting her own blood on his lips.

He slid his hands down to her ass and squeezed, whispering in her ear, "What do you want, _kotka_?"

She smiled, nuzzling his ear as her hand slid down his back and around his side, surprising him when she shoved his slacks down his thighs and wrapped her fingers tight around his swelling cock.

"This. Inside me."

Elijah nearly choked, her hold taking him aback. He panted quickly through his nose, steeling himself for her to let go so he could ravage her. And when she did, it was game on. He grabbed her hips bruisingly tight and set her where he wanted her, aligning himself before plunging in swiftly.

She gasped and cried out, clenching around him, her body reflexively arching up. "Oh fuck!"

He moaned brokenly, giving himself a moment to adjust to how tight she felt around him. "Fuh – ck, you feel so good!"

"Mmm, so do you," she moaned. "So big..." she sighed, sifting her fingers through his hair. She lifted her hips and pushed toward his with a little whimper. "Long..." He hummed, sliding out slowly and thrusting in hard without warning. She gasped, nearly breathless as she continued, "And _thick_..."

He gritted his teeth, gasping out the breath he was holding as he fought to hold onto his control. "Damn it, Katerina. Y-you're making it harder."

Katherine laughed breathlessly but it was cut off by a spiteful thrust and she cried out, raking her nails across his lower back, tearing through the stitches of his shirt and drawing blood in retaliation. Elijah groaned, starting up a faster than normal rhythm due to his time constraint. But Katherine clung to her control, tingling pleasure coursing through her veins.

"Oh god – yes!" she moaned.

Elijah's breaths became snarls as he pumped faster, swiveling his hips just a little so he could hit just the right angle that he knew would get her, his own climax sneaking up on him. His blood boiled with desire, desperate to hold long enough to see her finish first for he so relished the look on her face coupled with the melodic tune of her cries. She was so close to unraveling so he reached down to rub her clit in circular motion, pleading that it would be enough. As it was his cock was throbbing and on the cusp of explosion.

"Kat-er-ina...please," he implored.

But it fell on deaf ears because she was ripped at the seams by astounding pleasure, body arching upwards, head thrown back as she screamed in ecstasy, bright white stars flooding her vision. He sighed in relief and thrust a few times more chasing his own orgasm and it crashed over him, body tensing as his muscles spasmed and he released inside her. He let out a throaty sigh of relief, slowly slumping over her, burying his face in her neck and curls.

"Oh kotka..."

She hummed, still writhing as the aftershocks made her body numb. When she finally stilled, she let out a soft laugh and stroked her fingers down his back.

"You're gonna need a new work shirt."


End file.
